haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
