An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
