Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
