Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
