sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
