hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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