p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
