But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
