He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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