We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think i have two assholes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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