DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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