i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
