i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
