Tell her she can't have a vagina
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
