It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
