Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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