Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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