He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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