You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
