In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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