There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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