just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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