Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
