I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
