If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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