apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
