he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is the high leading the old right now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
did you just send me my own nude
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
