Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
