I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize