I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
