Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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