and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
