She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
