What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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