im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
