i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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