I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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