White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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