Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
