No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
