You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
