So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
