True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
