I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
