I cockslap morals
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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