If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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