What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
