Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
