Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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