I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
